Kristmas in Kuala

We're not done with Thailand's blogs, so here's a glimpse of our Christmas in Malaysia. (Eva was homesick!)

Merry Yule

Here, a Thai Christmas Tree. Hey. It's the thought that counts!

Our love and best wishes to all.

D&E

Out of Africa

JOHANNESBURG _ It seemed like the road would go on forever. It didn't. It just went for 7350 kilometers, (4567 miles) through five countries – South Africa, Namibia, Botswana, Zambia and Zimbabwe - in over 24 days. More. A month if you count the time Eva and Doug spent in Cape Town and Joburg before and after the trek.

Sometimes that road did seem to go forever. Across the white sand deserts of Namibia, with Milton in the cab and the rest of us in the truck as he drove and we bounced and he drove and we bounced toward a horizon that we never quite seemed to reach. More or less the same in Botswana, until the road started to climb and twist and turn in the hills leading to lush and troubled Zimbabwe.

The days also seemed to last forever, packing our gear and heavy tents before dawn (even worse Before Coffee) so we would could make an impossibly long drive that day. But Milton seemed to know just when to stop (OK. Once, we heard a passenger shout ''I need to go. NOW'')

And the days would be broken up by one astonishing adventure, one amazing sight, and one exotic animal after another.

This would be capped by The Marvelous Milton. our large and unstopably jovial Zimbabwean guide, driver, cook, and good buddy. He'd whip up a gourmet lunch under the shade of a tree at the side of a desolate and windblown road in about two minutes and then outdo himself on the open fire of a campsite while making yet another great dinner. (Doug, who loves to BBQ, only got to help three times: peeling some butternuts, BBQing chicken and beef, and roasting bananas)

The trek was just a sampling of southern Africa. Every stop was too short, because each ''next attraction'' was just too far down the road toward that ever distant horizon. It was like going to a wine tasting _ try a little bit of everything and go back for the best ones later.

So far this blog feels like it has missed out on more than we have reported. Too much. Too fast and waaaay slow. (Glacial internet that is. When we could log on at all.)

Did we mention the pride of lions we saw lounging near the water hole? No? Didn't think so. How about flying the small plane over huge herd of elphants iover the Okavango Delta? No. Not that either? Did we say anything about the friendship that grew from the trials, tribulations and triumphs? The great dinner at Doug's long-time colleague Donna's house in Joburg? Thought so. Too much. Too fast. Too slow.

And if there was a lesson, it's one Doug's mother tried to drum into him and that was summed up in the sign on her kitchen wall. ''Use it up, wear it out, make it do or do without.'

Milton never threw away a scrap of food. What he couldn't keep them he would give away: To campsite workers, other guides, park workers, and if necessary passers by.

''Waste not, want not.'' It made us rich Westerners reflect on the waste of our own wasteful, wasteful lifestyle. Shame on us.

Near the end of the trek, we saw we could not eat the snacks and drink the soft drinks we had brought before the trek ended. So we made up a gift bag for Mr. Brown, who earns about 400 rand (70 US dollars a month) looking after a remote campsite we used in southern Zimbabwe. The bag contained crackers, cookies, candy, two bottles of Coke, and a brand new shirt that was too small for Doug. It also contained 2 dollars.

Mr. Brown was clearly delighted and moved. Delighted by the food, a treat for his family. Moved by the crisp new, checkered, button-down shirt. He took it out of the bag, held it up for inspection, and -smiling – declared ''I'm going to look like a president.''

It was the same the whole way. What we saw as being worthless, they saw as a treasure. Our unwanted food was ther feast.

So we'll be back. Next time with an extra bag of old socks, shirts, pants, and shoes that we might have thrown out at home. Do the same if you ever go.

Thank you Africa. Next stop Thailand.

D&E

D&E's - Name That Animal!

Falling in love with a whole country

BULAWAYO, Zimbabwe _ When looking at the itinerary for the trip, Doug was more than a little skeptical about Zimbabwe. It is failed state, thanks to Robert Mugabe. Having survived hot combat as a reporter in numerous war zones _ like Iraq and Afghanistan _ Doug thought it would be very annoying to be killed in a food riot while on vacation.

Zimbabwe is in disarray. Its economy has collapsed. They have given up on their own currency and use US dollars. Unemployment has hit more than 70 percent, and what was once the breadbasket of Southern Africa has become the basket case of Southern Africa. 100 dollars a month would be considered good pay.

All that is true and yet it is still one of the most wonderful places on Earth. It is beautiful. D&E felt more welcome and safer than anywhere else in Southern Africa. People were friendly, smart and well educated.

The first stop was the town of Victoria Falls. Tourist Trap! It was safe enough, but walking anywhere mean running the guantlet of trinket sellers. The falls themselves were spectacular.

It was in Vic Falls that Doug and Eva broke away from the pack on our free day. After realizing that the planned trip hugged the border of Botswana but did not go into Zambia, Doug insisted on crossing the Victoria Falls bridge (from 1903) and setting foot on his father's second homeland, Zambia.

Fellow travellors thought we were nuts. But it went without a hitch. Passport control in Zimbabwe and Zambia were effortless both ways, and we hired a cab to take us into the town of Livingstone, Zambia. Doug marked the occasion by sending Zambia post cards to his brother in the US and mother in Norway.

After another long day on the road, we ended up at the remote wilderness Ivory Camp at Hwange, where we upgraded from a tent to the cabin for 20 dollars. As the only couple on the trek, D&E got the cabin on stilts with a bathrub that … we couldn't believe it … overlooked a waterhole used by the animals.

Milton prepared another of his 'can't be beat' dinners, but Doug declined to hang around the campfire afterward, saying 'I've seen plenty of campfires but never a cabin like the one we have for one night. Bye bye.''

The next day we met Ian the guide. But that's a whole other story.

We will be back, and aren't kidding about wanting a vacation home here.

D&E

Walking with (running from?) rhinos

MATOBO, Zimbabwe _ Our guide, Ian, is a 13th generation southern African, after his British ancestors moved to South Africa in 1790. He grew up on a farm nearby and calls the national park here his own backyard. He also calls the rhinos his family, since he knows all of their names and has known many of them since birth. He clearly mourns the passing of each one, especially those killed by poachers for the animal's horn, which can be worth 500,000 dollars on the black market. Ian is one of the world's best guides. According to the British magazine Wanderlust, he is, in fact, fourth best in the world. It's hard to imagine how good the three others must be.

A tour with Ian differs from other wildlife tours. He prides himself on getting his trekkers closer to rhinos and other wildlife than any guide in the world. He does just that and is famous for it.

To tag along with Ian, you have to be ready to fling youself on the ground or climb the nearest tree or sprint if a rhino charges. ''You'd be amazed at the reserves of energy you can summon up,'' he said. For another, you get within what seems like petting distance of an animal as big and powerful as a tank.

We didn't have to run, but we did our share of creeping around. He got us within a few meters of a rhino family. The male was very aware that it was breeding season. The female, with her exasperated signs, let him know she was not in the mood.

''We don't have to worry about him,'' says Ian. ''If he runs anywhere, it will be away from her.'' It's not just the rhinos that make Ian a guide apart. He points our everything from dung beetles to elephants and plants that can be use use to heal or to kill.

Around the campfire later, they discover that Doug and Ian share a passion from ancient British cars. Ian has a collection of Land Rovers, including a first prototype from 1948.

D&E

Just like my daddy done

OKAVANGO DELTA, Botswana – For Doug, this is just too cool. Gliding past the hippos and through the weeds in a dugout Mekoro canoe.
His father used to tell stories of heading up rivers in these in the 1930s and '40s. Doug seems to recall him tell about how they had to shoot a baby hippo because it was playing with the boat. Capsizing here makes you dinner. The crocodiles, you see.

We glide through what seems like an ocean of lily pads and reeds. Finally, reach the wilderness camp, where Milton and the local guides have set up the tents for us for the first and last time. (By the way, the tents were a nice example of teamwork. Milton – the professional – asked Doug to time how long he used to set up at tent. 9 minutes. By working together, the other five tourists could set up one tent in less than 2.5 minutes.) They even built us a stylish ''rest room'' (see picture above).

As evening falls. Milton points out that ''This is a dangerous place. And whatever is out there can come in here.''

Food for thought at 3 am when you kinda have to go to the bathroom a little bit but hear lions roaring, elephants trumpeting and hyenas laughing.

Way too early the next morning (BC – Before Coffee) we set off on foot (the evening before we had quickly closed in on some elephants, failing to immediately notice the hyena behind us.) This morning we realy did see notta (not a thing) and headed back to the camp to pack up and have breakfast.

Then we hit the offroad aboard 'The Monster' – a huge 4X4 Unimog truck designed for offroad.

D&E

Not for use in temperatures over 30C (85F)

BRANDBERG, NAMIBIA _ This place is fittingly named Brandberg – Fire Mountain.
It is about 42 degrees C (105F), it is midday and we head up the mountain to see the Bushman paintings, drawings on the rock walls done between 2,000 and 7,000 years ago. The most famous painting is 'The White Lady' although later research revealed that it was really ''The White Man.''

Later, locals would tell us that heading up Fire Mountain in the midday sun was A) Stupid. B) Insane. C) Insanely stupid. So, like mad dogs and Englishmen, we headed out in the midday sun.
Jurgen, our Tamara tribe guide, kept saying ''Too hot.' The trek is supposed to take about 90 minutes round trip. It takes nearly twice that because Jurgen keeps stopping to cool off his charges in the shadows up trees and to say ''Too hot.''

Everybody's hot. But Eva - ''I'm built for snow'' - is overheating. Doug offers to take the little backback she was carrying. She snaps and growls and he jumps back, narrowly avoiding having his arm turned into a stump.

About halfway up, Eva is dumping a bottle of drinking water on her head. Doug, from a safe distance, points out that if she keeps doing that we might all die of thirst.

We made it and it was worth it. The drawings are slowly fading away but the White Lady from Namibia is there. So is the White Hot Lady from Norway.

That evening, Doug notes that everyone was afraid of Eva. ''Oh don't be silly,'' she says, and then looks around to to see everyone nodding.

The group agrees to have Eva labled with the warning ''Not for use in temperatures over 30C (85F)''

D&E

That's a lot of seals!

When Milton said ''a lot of seals'' we didn't realize he meant ''A LOT of seals'' unil we got to Cape Cross, on our way north from Swakopmund to our next campground at Spitskop, Namibia.

We've never seen so many seals. And they were all talking at the same time. We were lucky, says Milton, that there was a stiff breeze to blow the worst of the stink away.

D&E

Beer is the Answer

African heat and beer go together like ... um ... houses and big mortages, or something like that. So Doug saw the chance to do some missionary work for BASTURDS (the Beer Appreciation Society for Totally UnRestricted Discussion) during the trip.

The BASTURDS motto is clear and indisuptable: ''Beer is the Answer.''

So Doug pointed this out repeatedly to his fellow trekkers, until they saw the light.

By the end of the trek, at the end of each day, they were all saying 'Let's have an answer or two..''

And our official trek T-shirts? You can see for yourself.

D&E

Hot and cold ... or make that cool

It seems like the Namibian desert never ends until ... bam ... it does precisely that just shy of the Atlantic Ocean. The change from the sweltering heat of the sands to the lush green and cool of Swakopmund (a coastal town of German origin) was staggering. After four nights in our tents, we spent two at an inn. With beds. Nice change.

Ruben from Germany complains about the cold. OK it's cool (like 22C (70F)) compared to the heat of the desert, but let's not forget the weather back home in the far north. Freezing. Sub-freezing. Sub DEEP freezing.

No one is interested in the activities on offer (for pay) like skydiving, or quad biking, a week into our trek. We all just want a day off, hang out, shop and have beers.

Doug especially likes the quotes from the menu at the Village Cafe, like ''I do not have a problem with caffeine. I have a problem without caffeine.''

Eva has an upset stomach and tries the German cure:. (See video)
D&E

Oh, and let us introduce us

By the way, this who we are. (from left to right)

Man Truck, age 5 1/2, South Africa

Morris, 65, Australia

Ruben, 27, Germany,

Eva, 45, Norway

Doug, 55, Norway/USA

Pia, 58, Denmark.

Milton, 20-something, Zimbabwe

The doctor is in

Eva's medical training amounts to a first aid course. Just the same, she was quickly designated ''Trek Doctor''

It started with Morris needing the stitches removed from his knee. He'd fallen over a wall in the dark in an earlier stage of his Africa trip, and it was time to remove them. Doug said he had ''a really big knife'' and that he would be happy to remove the stitches as long as Ruben could spare some of his whiskey (For Doug, not for Morris).

Prudently, Morris selected Eva for the procedure, and Dr. Eva removed the stitches with no hitches.

From there, it was a short way to massages and physiotherapy for Pia's hurt back, ministering to Milton's cold, and dispensing malaria medication to Doug.

Ruben, a young whippersnapper, has proved too healthy to need treatment, although we can always hope.

D&E

Living it up a Desert Camp

Oh, man. This is the life. What a campsite!

In the middle of nowhere, in southern Namibia, is a place called Drifters Desert Camp. It is on an about 120,000 hectare (300,000 acre) private wildlife resevere. The camp is just about all there is there, apart from Pete, the Pervuvian-English guide, his Nambian-German wife Francesca and their remarkably peppy 13-year-old dog Francine.

Even though you sleep in your own tent, this hardly seems like roughing it (OK. The sparkling white at the pool could have been a little more chilled.) The tents are under nice shelters, and the bathrooms use local materials with such a flare that they are unforgetable.

What is also unforgetable are Pete's outbursts of laughter _ he sounds a bit like a mad scientist and has the rest of us of laughing with him. And who could forget watching a sunset over the desert, or riding in the back of an open Toyota Land Cruiser at night to spot wildlife. (Doug kept remembering that the wildlife included puff aders and Cape Cobras and scorpions).

Or musical mountain? Who could forget a mountain with rocks so hard that they ring when you toss pebbles at them.

But ..... ahh ... back to the pool.

D&E

The road that never ends

We ''survive'' Zimbabwe (Doug is about set to buy a house there) with a side trip to Zambia. Woke up this morning in our tents at a remote campsite where getting trampled by the resident elephants was our main concern. Now in Joburg, in city shock. No net access for many days, so we will do a massive update when our toughts and pictures are organized.

D&E